As you read this, Vernon Kay runs. The Radio 2 presenter has been running for, what, three days now, and is well on the way to achieving a total distance of 116 miles. This is the length, so the BBC reminds us no more than a dozen times per hour, of four full marathons. A mammoth feat, then.
Kay’s days comprise running, ice baths and bed. He breaks off only to talk to Zoe Ball on the breakfast show, then Jeremy Vine on the lunchtime show, then Scott Mills on the afternoon show, and Sara Cox in the evening, and also, briefly, for protein bars and, presumably, the odd toilet break.
But otherwise, Vernon runs. He’s running now, smiling his magnificent teeth all the way from Leicester, the starting point of the challenge, to Bolton, where he finishes, likely in a heap, at some point tomorrow morning – and live on air.
Kay isn’t doing this for fun, of course, but for Children in Need. The charity has made rather a name for itself in terms of celebrities undertaking astonishing feats of derring-do each year, and raising an awful lot of money in the process. At the time of writing, Kay has raised over £1.6m, which is not only an incredible personal achievement, but also testament to the generosity of the British public, which always somehow manages to put its hand in its pocket, even during times of austerity, global uncertainty, and financial crisis.
Kay may be unusually fit for a 50-year-old, but his achievements are nevertheless coming increasingly to be viewed as predictable, even expected. Whenever celebrities attempt to raise money for good causes, they do so by doing something that will look impressive on television, and sound impressive on the radio.
In 2020, Joe Wicks, then the fittest man in the country (arguably in both senses), performed a 24-hour PE Challenge that both exhausted him and raised £2.5m for the charity; a year later, Sophie Ellis-Bextor danced in her kitchen day and night for more than £1m; and in 2022, the bequiffed former BBC weatherman Owain Wyn Evans mounted a 24-hour drumathon that resulted in donations of £3.8m.
In each case, an awful lot of muscle was required, alongside astonishing levels of durability. For the armchair enthusiast, this is all terrific stuff. We love to witness Herculean feats of endurance while safe in the knowledge that we shall never have to do anything even remotely comparable. It’s fun to applaud the achievements of others.
While the celebrities undoubtedly have the very best intentions at heart, it would be naïve to think that they’re unaware of just how well these escapades serve them, too. After David Walliams swam the Channel in a wetsuit for Sport Relief in 2008, he landed his most high-profile gig to date as one of the judges on Britain’s Got Talent.
After Wyn Evans raised his record amount last year, he became a household name overnight, and soon landed the early morning slot on Radio 2. Vernon Kay has been that station’s mid-morning DJ for the past six months now, and while he’s clearly thriving, he’s also suffered in comparison to his predecessor Ken Bruce, who quit in favour of Greatest Hits Radio, and who took with him a not-insignificant chunk of his audience. We don’t let go of our national treasures easily.
But Ken Bruce, who is 73 next birthday, cannot run 116 miles in four days, with or without the accompanying wind of a winning smile. Vernon Kay can. The goodwill that is currently coming his way will doubtless do him huge favours and provide invaluable PR, much as his Herculean efforts will surely be of immeasurable benefit for the many charitable recipients of Children in Need.
It’s win-win. Everybody’s happy.