When Fatima Whitbread tells people she was abandoned as a baby in a London flat by her biological mother and effectively left to die, it hits her each time that the tiny child was her.
“I often talk to the young Fatima and take her by the hand and say, ‘It’s OK, I’ve got you, you’re safe now,” the 62-year-old former world and European javelin champion tells i.
Fatima, who campaigns to raise awareness about children in care and care leavers, is sharing her story with i as part of our Christmas appeal with charity Become.
We aim to raise £75,000 to enable the charity to help more children in care and young care leavers.
A neighbour heard a baby crying and realised they hadn’t seen anyone coming or going to the flat for a few days, which led to them alerting the police, who broke down the door and discovered baby Fatima: “I had been abandoned and some would say, left to die.”
After spending a few months in hospital being treated for malnutrition and nappy rash, she was made a ward of court and spent the next 14 years of her life in children’s homes.
Until she was five, Fatima lived at a children’s home in Hertfordshire with around 25 other children.
“For those first five years, I never had any visits or any understanding that I had a mother or siblings and it was a very difficult time for all of us children in children’s homes,” she said.
“I remember being in the front room of the children’s home which faced the car park and whenever anyone came into the car park, I would ask, ‘Is that my mummy?’”
At the age of five, Fatima was suddenly told she was being moved to a different children’s home – something that still happens to children in care today, and which she describes as having a devastating impact on youngsters.
“Children need stability and continuity,” she explains. “It’s necessary for them to put down roots and not be moved from place to place. Every time they are moved, they lose all their connections, their friends, their role models and their education is disrupted.
“Suddenly, everything they have ever known is taken away from them again and they have to start a whole new life again in a new place – and there is no guarantee that will work again either.”
Fatima’s next children’s home was smaller, with fewer children, and although it came with its challenges, it holds a special place in her heart as it is where she met the person she affectionately called ‘Aunty Rae’.
“Back in the 60s, we came from an era where children should be seen and not heard, and a lot of the time most of the children’s needs weren’t met,” she recalls. “We were just told to run along and go in the garden.
“If you felt emotionally disturbed or upset, no one was really able to give you the security you were looking for and you were always amongst a sea of emotion. Many of the children had abandonment issues and traumas, including sexual, physical or mental abuse and that is very tough to deal with and process by yourself as a youngster.
“A lot of children in the care system come with a particular set of issues through no fault of their own and unfortunately, it leaves its mark on them.”
Fatima remembers ‘Aunty Rae’ had a special bond with the youngsters, and she had a profound effect on Fatima’s life.
“Aunty Rae was one of the house aunties who came in to look after the children on a rota,” she says. “She was my bright shining star and she humanised us kids and was a wonderful lady.
Fatima remembers picking daffodils from around the home and watching where Aunty Rae went to find out where she lived. “I went and knocked on her door, gave her the flowers and asked her if she would be my mummy,” she recalls.
After gently sitting Fatima down with a cup of tea and a biscuit, Aunty Rae explained that she couldn’t just be Fatima’s mummy as she had to be all the children’s mummy. Fatima says: “Aunty Rae taught me about how in giving, you receive. She told me that she couldn’t always be at the home, but I was, so why didn’t I be a mummy to the other children.
“It was marvellous and stayed with me forever. I would look after the other children and be their guardian and protector and in giving that love to them, they would give it back to me.
“It also swivelled the lens from me being trapped in my head and wondering why I was in this situation and stopped me growing up as a victim.”
Sport became Fatima’s saviour, and it was through this that she met the Whitbread family. She was adopted at the age of 14 and Margaret Whitbread, her adoptive mother, became her javelin coach.
Fatima went to have a spectacular career, winning gold for Team GB at the 1986 European and 1987 World Chmpionships, and silver at the 1988 Seoul Olympics. In 1986 she also set a javelin world record of 77.44m.
Fatima tells i: “Even though I left the care system many years ago, the care system never leaves you. You have to learn to deal with it and get on in life.
“There is no hierarchy with trauma, everyone suffers one way or another. It is how you learn to deal with those triggers and traumas.
“Whatever happened to us as children, as sad as it is, we all need to have a responsibility to do the healing work and I constantly work on myself and try to improve my triggers and traumas, and I take the young Fatima’s hands and talk to her.”
Fatima says that while her lived experience gave her a steely inner strength, a lot of young children struggle with growing up in care and can find it physically and emotionally debilitating.
“It becomes about surviving in the care system, but if you invest time in children in care from a young age, it helps determine who and what they become and they can thrive, as well as survive.
“Early intervention and inclusion are so important. A lot of people think these children are in care because they’ve been naughty, but that’s not the case.
“For one reason or another, such as abandonment or problems within the family, they have found themselves in the care system and it’s important we help them as much as we can and that they are not stigmatised.
“I want to help children as much as I can so they don’t feel invisible and grow up feeling part of the community.
Fatima fronts Fatima’s UK Campaign aimed at helping children in care and care leavers, and is passionate about the issue. She says she holds the same values and beliefs as charity Become and is urging i readers to support the appeal.
“I believe my life in care has now brought me back full circle and my ministry is to support the care system sector and rejuvenate it,” she says.
“Nothing much has changed in the 60 years since I was in the care system and it feels like the same tin can has been kicked further and further down the road.
“Every child needs a safe and happy childhood,” she says. “Children need to be seen, heard and valued. Every child has that right and just because they lived in or came from the care system sector through no fault of their own shouldn’t make them invisible or less valued.
“Become are doing great work and understand the needs of young people in care and care leavers.
“We need to celebrate the resilience of our young people and help them have a safer, happier, healthier future and invest time in them so they can fulfil their potential and succeed.”
How to donate
i has launched its 2023 Christmas Appeal “Together We Care” urging generous readers to raise money to help Become give vital advice and practical support to 1,300 children in care and young care leavers.
We initially set a fundraising target of £75,000 but thanks to the generosity of i readers, we now hope to raise £150,000 for the charity.
Click here to read more about what Become does: https://becomecharity.org.uk/
Here’s what your donation can provide:
- £2.50 sends a handwritten Christmas card to a child in care.
- £5 helps a child in care stay in touch with brothers or sisters living apart from them.
- £12 gives Christmas dinner to a young person who recently left care.
- £25 gives a Christmas present to a child in care or young care leaver.
- £45 pays for a young person to travel to Parliament to share their story with interested MPs.
- £50 pays for employment coaching to help someone leaving care find a job.
- £75 provides one-to-one guidance for a young person applying to university.
Click here to donate: www.becomecharity.org.uk/i-appeal