Duncan Langley vividly remembers what it was like as a terrified 12-year-old to be told by social workers that he and his siblings had to say goodbye to their mum at the school gates before going into care.
“It was myself, my brother and my sister and I am the youngest – we were all crying and saying we didn’t want to go to school and trying everything we could just to stay with mum,” he remembers.
“My sister went into care before us and then that day, me and my brother were dropped off at school by our mum and the social worker picked us up after school to take us to our placement.”
Duncan was taken to a foster family and says at the start, it felt “scary” going to a completely new place and the prospect of starting a new school and making brand new friends was “terrifying.”
He lived with the same foster family until he left care and although it had its challenges growing up as a teenager, Duncan says he knows he is one of the lucky ones as he had a good relationship with his foster family. “They treated me like their own son and if I had any problems, I knew I could talk to them.”
For Duncan, his issues with being in care began after he turned 18 and faced what young people in care describe as “the care cliff” as support suddenly seemed to drop away and he was expected to fend for himself as a grown up, even though inside, he still felt like a child.
He had to leave his foster family and go into supported accommodation after he turned 18 and he was living with vulnerable adults and surrounded by drugs and violence. Even though he had his own room, Duncan says it was a frightening environment and he once had a glass bottle thrown through his door, which hit him in the face.
“There were a lot of drug dealers and people who liked to cause trouble,” he recalls. “You didn’t know who to trust and it didn’t feel safe. Every time you woke up, you would be wondering if your stuff was still there.
“It was a massive change for me from being with my foster family to suddenly going into this place where everyone had their own set of problems.
“There was no transition and I felt like I was basically left on my own. There is only so much you can do as a young person to try and cope on your own.”
Duncan managed to leave supported accommodation after around a year when he secured a live-in summer job with PGL as an outdoor activities instructor.
“They offered me accommodation on site as it was too far to come in every day,” explains Duncan. “The trouble was, it was only a summer job, so after the summer ended, I had to speak to social services and was basically told that I’m 18 now so I’m on my own.”
When Covid hit, Duncan moved back in with his mum to give her a helping hand and was there for two years. He then moved in with his sister and has found full-time work as a restaurant food runner.
Duncan is sharing his story about growing up in care with i as he wants to support our Together We Care Christmas Appeal.
Today we can announce that generous i readers have already raised nearly £60,000 for the appeal.
The total number of donations, including gift aid, has reached £59,210 and this will allow the charity Become to help many more children in care and young care leavers.
We have set a fundraising target of £75,000 and every donation, whether large or small, will help.
Become chief executive Katharine Sacks-Jones said: “All of us here at Become are overwhelmed by the generosity of i readers. This incredible support will make the world of difference and mean we can reach even more care-experienced children and young people and get them the help they need this Christmas and into the future.
“It also sends a powerful message to these young people that so many i readers care about them and want to stand by them.”
Duncan wants young people in care to know that they are not alone and wishes he had known about Become when he was growing up.
He feels particularly strongly about the “care cliff” and about young people struggling once they hit the age of 18 and feeling like they don’t have enough support.
“I feel that local authorities are good at taking people into care, but once they hit the age of 18, it feels like they back off and say you’re nothing to do with them any more,” he says.
“A lot of kids in care complain that once they turn 18, they feel they are basically dumped on the streets. There is a risk they can then fall into bad ways and so many young people fall into drugs as a way of coping.
“I want people to know that young people in care are all human beings the same as them. We just need a bit more support than ordinary young people who live with their parents.
“I am in a happy place now and life is going well, but I want other young people in care to know there are people like Become out there who will support them.”
How to donate
i has launched its 2023 Christmas Appeal “Together We Care” urging generous readers to raise money to help Become give vital advice and practical support to 1,300 children in care and young care leavers.
We initially set a fundraising target of £75,000 but thanks to the generosity of i readers, we now hope to raise £150,000 for the charity.
Click here to read more about what Become does: https://becomecharity.org.uk/
Here’s what your donation can provide:
- £2.50 sends a handwritten Christmas card to a child in care.
- £5 helps a child in care stay in touch with brothers or sisters living apart from them.
- £12 gives Christmas dinner to a young person who recently left care.
- £25 gives a Christmas present to a child in care or young care leaver.
- £45 pays for a young person to travel to Parliament to share their story with interested MPs.
- £50 pays for employment coaching to help someone leaving care find a job.
- £75 provides one-to-one guidance for a young person applying to university.
Click here to donate: www.becomecharity.org.uk/i-appeal