It is a busy time of year: there is lots to do, and lots that needs to have already been done but isn’t. And if you ask most people how they are, you know their answer will undoubtedly include the word “busy”.
Being busy is a bit like a bell-shaped curve. If we don’t have enough to do, we can feel purposeless, as if life is empty and we have too much time to think. But if we have too much to do, we can feel overwhelmed, stressed out and have no time for self-care or even to stop and notice life. So, can we achieve that sweet spot where we have just enough to do but not too much?
One of the problems we have in achieving this is that society doesn’t really seem to value time and space; on the contrary, it seems to push productivity and assign a badge of honour to how busy we are. Doing a lot doesn’t mean it is done well, or with any meaning. It doesn’t mean it is effective or efficient. Just because you can do something all the time doesn’t mean you should.
What would it be like to live in a world where things slowed down a bit, where you were rewarded for having some time out, or where priorities of where your time went were allowed to be about relationships and self-care, rather than answering emails, working or being “functional”? I think – in fact, I pretty much know – it would be a healthier, calmer and ironically a more productive world.
So, how can we start to take control of how busy we are?
Look at what being busy means to you
When each of us says we are busy, we can actually mean very different things. To be busy means to have a great deal to do. But we all have our own levels of when that curve tips over into overwhelm. What does that look like in your week? How much time out do you need and how much time to do certain things?
Working out what your own internal productivity machinery looks like, what it can take and how it works best is key. If people are asking too much of you, learn to say no. Be honest about how much you can take on. Work out what balance means and looks like in your life.
Beware of identifying with being busy
Sometimes when we have been used to being busy all the time, we can become identified with it. Even if we want something different and to slow down or have more time and space, we can feel more comfortable with just carrying on in the same old way.
We are in our comfort zone and anything different feels scary. Sometimes when we slow down, our minds can get more active and start to worry more, or we feel we are not quite sure what to do with our extra time, or we can feel guilty if we have low self-esteem and don’t feel deserving of self-care.
When we feel like this, we can actually create more things to do and cause ourselves problems by being just as busy, but of our own making. Step out of that identity, realise you deserve to have some space and time, and examine why you feel you “can’t” or “shouldn’t”. Ask others to support you in this.
Get back in control
When you realise you are too busy, there are a few strategies you can put in place. Short-term measures include stepping back from whatever you are doing temporarily. That might include putting work down, closing your laptop, putting your phone away and taking a step away, a walk outside and a deep breath.
Recognise and be aware of how you feel and why. You may feel you don’t have time to relax because you are so busy, but trust me you will be far more productive if you take a short break. Prioritise, delegate and let go of what is not essential.
Longer-term, you may want to look at your boundaries and say no more often. Take time before you agree or disagree to a request for your time. Look at how you respect your own time and prioritise your own stuff alongside everyone else’s.
Ultimately, start believing that you deserve to work at a pace that is healthy and that the more you invest in and look after yourself, the more others around you will benefit too.